Who Says You Can't Go Home
by actlikesummer
Summary: Everyone knew the Donnelly siblings: Jimmy, Tommy, Bevin, Kevin, & Sean. They were inseperable until the day she left without a goodbye. Now almost five years later she's back, bringing more tragedy and heartbreak than they'd ever experienced.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The New York air was bitter on that particular night as it whipped around the shoulders of a young woman standing outside of the Firecracker lounge. Bevin Donnelly had just gotten out of a cab, and carried a small bag with her. She could hear noises inside but she could not bring herself to go inside. They would hate her. She knew they would. It had been four years. Four years since she left them without barely saying good-bye. The thought of returning had only briefly entered her mind when it happened.

The call broke her heart. Her old friend Jenny Reilly had called her a few mornings prior to break the heart-wrenching news-Helen Donnelly had passed away. It had been four years since Bevin left, and in that time she barely spoke to her family. Now her mother was gone and she couldn't help but partially blame herself for not being here.

She was caught off guard when the door opened and a man came flying out. He looked at her and did a double-take. "Bevin?"

She sighed. "Joey."

He stared at her. "We never thought we'd be seeing you around here, Bev."

She nodded. "That was the plan."

He sighed. "Your brothers…"

"Are they all in there?"

He sighed. "Bev…"

"Joey."

He gave a short nod. He started to walk away but stopped. "Hey about your Ma…"

She nodded. "Thanks."

She turned her attention back to the building and sighed, figuring it was best to just get this over with. She cautiously grabbed the doorknob and pushed the door open.

The second she did, everything grew quiet. Bevin stared at the men before her. Jimmy, Tommy, Kevin, Sean. They stood together, like a pack.

"What the Hell are you doing here?" Tommy asked not-so-quietly.

Bevin sighed. "Mom."

He glanced at Jimmy before walking to her. "You left, Bev. We haven't heard from you in four years and now you just show up like this?"

Bevin looked at her brothers and stood her ground. "I left. I know. But you don't even know the half of it Tommy. None of you do." she faltered and glanced downward for a second.

"Care to elaborate?"

She shook her head immediately. "No." She took a deep breath. "Listen…I know you guys don't want me back. You hate me. I get it. But I came back for Mom."

"Then why didn't you say goodbye? What could have been so bad that you couldn't at least say good-bye? Why couldn't you just-"

"It would have broken her heart!" She screamed and there was silence again. She took a deep breath. "I am not going to explain to you why I left. I…need to forget that. I came back because I know Mom would have wanted me to. I came back for her…and I came back for you."

They all looked at her. "We don't hate you."

Bevin looked at Kevin. "What?"

He shrugged. "We don't hate you. At least I don't."

She sighed and sent him a sad smile. "But if you knew…you would."

They watched her carefully. "Listen…I know you don't want me here. But I am family…so that means you have to take me in."

Tommy sighed with wild eyes and nodded. "Fine. Sean, Kevin, take her and her stuff home. We'll talk later."

She stared at him for a minute before leaving with her younger brothers. Tommy turned to look at Jimmy. "So what do you think she is hiding?"

His brother shrugged. "I don't know. But something big."

"Dammit, Bev."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

When Bevin woke up the next morning, she continued to lay in bed. She could hear her brothers talking in the living room, but she wasn't ready to go out and face them yet. Yesterday had gone different than she had expected, but she knew she was on thin ice.

She clamped her eyes shut when her door slowly creaked open. She heard whispers from her doorway, which were unmistakably from Jimmy and Tommy.

"Something's up, Jim. She was weird yesterday."

"Tommy we haven't seen her in like…four years. She's different now."

"Are you high again? Because this is Bevin we're talking about. Always used to try and hang around us, quiet, kind of shy…now she is back and determined, loud, and hiding something."

Jimmy sighed. "Yeah well how are we going to find this out? It's not like she is just going to come out and tell us."

"She might surprise you."

Both boys turned towards the room. Bevin sighed and sat up. "Didn't anybody ever tell you that it is not polite to talk behind someone's back?" She had attitude in her voice.

"Listen to that…she's gotten cocky." Tommy mumbled to his brother. "When did you get cocky?" He shouted at her and they walked into the room.

"Come in why don't you?" She asked sarcastically.

"I asked you a question." Tommy said and she glared at him.

"And I heard you. Doesn't mean I have to answer it." She shot back at him.

She rolled her eyes at his shocked and angered expression. Then she sighed and got out of bed. She had a pair of cotton pajama pants and a shirt from a music school that was cut in the middle to make it shorter. Her hair was pulled up into a sloppy bun, with just a few strands of hair falling onto her shoulders.

"What the Hell is that?"

She turned to face her brothers. "Excuse me?" He pointed to where he was referring. "Oh my tattoos?"

"Wait…tattoos? You have more?" He asked quickly.

She nodded. Then she showed them every tattoo she had gotten after she left.

On her right ankle, she had a small, green four leaf clover, representing her Irish heritage. On her left ankle, she had the names of her brothers tattooed in a way that made it look like she was wearing an anklet. On the back of her neck, not too far up, she had a small black eighth note. Then she pulled up her shirt and showed them her back. It started as a tramp stamp of a vine with roses, and then it snaked up her back, with roses placed along it.

"Hurt like a bitch." She chuckled a bit.

"I bet." Jimmy piped up from behind Tommy.

"What's the one on your wrist?" Tommy asked, pointing to it.

It was simple. Just a name. Liam.

"Who's Liam?"

She pulled her wrist to her chest and covered the name with her other hand. "No one."

The boys glanced at each other. Tommy narrowed his eyes. "No one? No one. Really? Cuz…I think he's someone."

"He is no one." she had wide eyes that were frantic and slightly tearing.

"Bev…"

"Get out. I have to change. Liam is no one. Please go." She said quietly, turning her back to them.

Tommy waited a second and then sighed, walking out. Jimmy went to the door, but stopped, looking back at his sister. He didn't say anything, and she continued to face the other direction, her wrist clutched in her hand. He then turned, and followed Tommy out of her room.

When they were gone, she quickly walked to the door and shut it. Then she slid down it to the floor.

Outside, the oldest Donnelleys had left the apartment. However, Sean stood outside his older sister's door. When he approached, he stopped to the sound of quiet sobbing.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"What the Hell is this?"

Jimmy walked into his bar and was shocked. There was his baby sister, drinking a beer that she had obviously made herself.

"I am of age now, Jimmy." She shot back at him.

He walked over to her and scoffed. "This is my place…how did you get in here?"

She took a swig of her drink and sighed. "Sean gave me the key. What you don't trust me?"

He sighed. "Why should I? You just up and leave and now you waltz back into our lives and you are bitter, cynical, and haven't really talked to us at all."

She looked down and then sighed. "The things that I did are none of your business."

He looked at her and then rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Bev. You know…you used to be this sweet little girl that, somehow, was not affected by anything that happened in our world. You were sweet, you were innocent, and you were Bev. The way you're acting…it isn't you."

She cocked her head to the side. "This? This is me, Jimmy. This has been me for a while. I have been gone for four years, and things change. People, events, and places can change you and not always for the better. Here." She stood and threw a few bucks on the counter. "For my beer."

But as she started for the door, a man came in. "Are you Jimmy Donnelly?"

Jimmy nodded. "What do you want?"

"I got a package for you." The man said and Jimmy looked confused.

"I didn't order anything?"

The man shrugged. "Not my problem. You still gotta take it."

The siblings momentarily glanced at each other and the back doors opened. Jimmy nearly choked himself when the huge thing was brought it. However, Bev was in shock. It was beautiful. A shining, polished, new grand piano.

"I don't want this!" Jimmy yelled at the man.

"Like I said…it ain't my problem. You still gotta take it!"

Then the men left and they looked at the delivery. Once again the door opened but this time it was not the man, it was the rest of the clan.

"What the Hell is this?" Tommy shouted.

Jimmy shrugged. "Some jack-ass just dropped it off. I definitely did not order some stupid piano."

"It isn't stupid." Bev piped up and everyone stared at her. "It's beautiful."

"Oh and let me guess? You know a thing or two about pianos? Come on, Bev. Get real." Tommy said in frustration. "What the Hell are we going to do with this thing?"

"Who sent it anyway?" Kevin brought up. "Doesn't that seem suspicious?"

"Why does everything we do have to be a crime or suspicious?" Sean said and then all four brothers were in a fight.

They were stopped short, however, by the sound of music coming from that very object.

Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table  
>While I look outside<br>So many things I'd say if only I were able  
>But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by<br>You've got opinions, man  
>We're all entitled to 'em, but I never asked<br>So let me thank you for your time, and try not to waste anymore of mine  
>And get out of here fast<br>I hate to break it to you babe, but I'm not drowning  
>There's no one here to save<p>

Who cares if you disagree?  
>You are not me<br>Who made you king of anything?  
>So you dare tell me who to be?<br>Who died and made you king of anything?

You sound so innocent, all full of good intent  
>Swear you know best<br>But you expect me to jump up on board with you  
>And ride off into your delusional sunset<br>I'm not the one who's lost with no direction  
>But you'll never see<br>You're so busy making maps with my name on them in all caps  
>You got the talking down, just not the listening<p>

And who cares if you disagree?  
>You are not me<br>Who made you king of anything?  
>So you dare tell me who to be?<br>Who died and made you king of anything?

All my life I've tried to make everybody happy  
>While I just hurt and hide<br>Waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn to decide

Who cares if you disagree?  
>You are not me<br>Who made you king of anything?  
>So you dare tell me who to be?<br>Who died and made you king of anything?

Who cares if you disagree?  
>You are not me<br>Who made you king of anything?  
>So you dare tell me who to be?<br>Who died and made you king of anything?

Let me hold your crown, babe.

Bev stopped playing and looked at her brothers. "Is that a good start to opening up?"

Then she stood, and walked out.

"Damn." Sean said quietly.

However Tommy wasn't listening. He had no idea that she had talent like that. Then he started to wonder if maybe that was why she left. But he had a feeling there was more to the story…a lot more.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Over the next few days, Bevin tried to steer clear of her brothers. She spent some time in her room, visited Jenny, and generally kept to herself. The funeral was particularly hard for her, but she refused to show weakness in front of the boys.

The day after the funeral, Bevin decided she needed to get out. As she walked around, the air started getting colder, and the sky grew darker. She turned back, heading towards the Firecracker, and her home. But as she entered the alley near the Firecracker, she was aware of someone following her. She walked faster, but he did too.

Suddenly he pulled her back and spun her around. She saw that he was creepy, and he definitely had more strength than her. She tried to fight against him, but he kept a pretty strong grip on her arms. Then he overpowered her and got her on the ground. He hit her, and pinned her to the ground. The sky was completely black now, so she new that her hopes of someone finding her was extremely slim.

She screamed for someone, anyone. Sean. Kevin. Joey. Jimmy. Tommy. Anyone. But her voice started growing hoarse as he hit her. She tried to struggle against him, but her strength was starting to give out and she cried, afraid that her worst fear was coming true…again.

She felt him rip her shirt when suddenly he was being knocked off her and she heard him yelling. It seemed like a few moments, when suddenly she saw Kevin and Sean chase him off. They ran over to her and she stared at them. She couldn't speak, and she knew that they were shouting at her, making sure she was okay. However, she wasn't able to hear them. All sound and senses had been taken from her as she thought about what had just happened.

Then she was aware of Kevin picking her up and Sean running in front of them.

Tommy, Joey, and Jimmy were arguing about something across the bar when the door flew open and Sean came running in.

"What the Hell-"

"Bevin was attacked."

They both jumped up. "What? Where is she?" Jimmy asked quickly.

As if on cue, Kevin came in, carrying as dazed Bevin. He walked over to the bar and set her on a stool. Tommy sat next to her. "Bev?"

She slowly turned to look at him, finally gaining her hearing back. Tommy stared at her. "Bevin what happened?"

She opened her mouth to talk, but no sound came out. She quickly shut it again and stared at the beer Jimmy had set in front of her. She went to grab it but her hands were shaking uncontrollably.

"Some guy attacked her. He tried to…"

Tommy smacked his hand against the bar and Bevin jumped. He watched her closely. "Bevin…you are gong to be okay."

She looked up at him now, suddenly gaining all of her senses back. "How do you know, Tommy?" Her attitude was back in full swing. "How can you be so sure? Do you know what it feels like to be taken advantage of? Do you know what it is like to have that fear and wonder when it will go away? That numb feeling you get, and you just want to die instead of being there. That feeling of hopelessness when you know you can't do anything but take it. Will it go away, Tommy? Will it? When? How can it? Just back off, Tommy, because you don't know anything about that."

She got up and walked a few steps away from her brothers, wrapping her arms around herself. No one spoke as they waited for her to continue, and let sink what she had just said.

"I was raped."

They all looked up at her. "That is why I left."

"Bev…"

She knew they were suddenly putting it all together. Why she left so suddenly, and why her attitude changed.

"I know I should have told you. I just…couldn't."

Tommy nodded. "Where did you go?"

She paused. "London. They have a great music school. I just…needed to get away."

They were still silent as she took a deep breath. She closed her eyes for a moment, then Sean spoke. "Does this have anything to do with Liam?"

She looked up at him and inside she felt her heart tear in two pieces. "My son."

They stared at her, in shock.

"What?" They all said.

She sighed. "When I left, I was pregnant. Uh…Liam was my son." She let some tears fall and they understood.

"Bev…I'm so sorry."

She nodded, but didn't speak. They all had a lot to take in and it was going to take a long while before it settled in their minds.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

After the outburst in the bar, Bevin stayed in her room for most of the night. Everyone was shocked by what they had learned, and Tommy and Jimmy were furious. Bevin was curled up in her bed, when someone knocked on her door, and Sean peeked his head in.

She gave him a weak smile. "Hey Seanie."

She sat up by the headboard of the bed and pulled her knees to her chest. Sean took this as an invitation to come in, and shut the door behind him. Then he went and sat next to her, resting his legs straight out in front of him.

Growing up, Bevin always looked up to Jimmy and Tommy. Kevin was always the one to make her laugh if needed. But she had always been the closest to Sean. No matter what, the two of them could talk about anything. She had never kept anything from him…until she was raped and left.

"So…that was a lot you laid on us tonight." He said quietly.

She nodded. "I know."

They were silent for a few more minutes, before Sean sighed. "Why didn't you just tell us? Why didn't you tell me?"

She looked at him, her eyes red from crying. "I was scared. I didn't know what to do and I had just found out that I was pregnant…I felt weak. I hate feeling like that. My mind was so clouded and running a mile a minute. I wanted to tell you, Sean, I did. I just…didn't know how."

He watched her carefully. She might have been the older sibling, but he knew her better than anyone. They had always had a special connection, and he didn't intend for her absence to change that in any way.

"Bev…I wish we had known. You didn't need to leave. We could have helped you."

She nodded. "I know. But…I just couldn't bring myself to accept what had happened."

He hesitated. "Um…do you want to tell me about-"

"Not yet." She cut him off. "I just can't do that. Give me a little while?"

He nodded. He knew that the subject of Liam was going to be a tough one for her, so he wasn't going to push it. "So this school you went to."

She smiled a bit, which made Sean happy. "Yeah." She said. "It was awesome, Sean. I learned so much! It gave me so much freedom to learn about different styles of music, the techniques, how to write music and lyrics…I loved it."

He grinned. "When you played that piano at the bar, we were all shocked. We didn't know you were so talented." he paused. "Tommy was more shocked than the rest of us. He felt bad, I think, for saying what he had."

She nodded and crossed her arms over her knees, resting her face in them. "I know."

"You know…" Sean sighed. "You hurt us when you left. But Tommy…he was even more affected by it. I don't think he ever really accepted that you were gone."

Bevin didn't respond so Sean continued. "I'm glad you came back. I wish…Ma were here to see you, but I am glad you came back."

She nodded. "I wish I could have seen her one more time. I didn't even say goodbye." She had tears in her eyes again. "I wish she knew that….that I loved her. That she didn't deserve what I did. I should have called her, or written to her. But I didn't…and now she is gone, and I can't tell her any of that."

Sean wrapped his arms around her. "She knew all of that. She knew that you weren't trying to hurt her." he got up and grabbed their mother's bible, that had been sitting in the desk next to Bevin's bed. "Look inside."

Bevin hesitated, then grabbed it from her younger brother. She flipped a few pages and then saw her picture tucked carefully inside. She touched the picture. It was of her and her mother from her birthday the year before she left. She looked up at Sean.

"She knew you loved her. She prayed that you would be okay and always knew that she loved you too."

She looked back down at the picture and sighed. Suddenly her stomach growled really loud and she grabbed at it. She looked up at Sean and they both started laughing.

"Well some things haven't changed…" he joked.

He stood and grabbed her hand, pulling her up. "We are getting you some food."

She smiled and followed him out into the living room. She stopped and her smile fell when she saw the rest of her family sitting there, waiting for them. She sighed. "I'm sorry."

They knew she meant it for all of them, but she was staring at Tommy. Kevin and Jimmy stood, and followed Sean into the kitchen. There was an awkward silence between Bevin and Tommy. He motioned for her to sit on the couch with him and she did so.

"Bev…I am not going to have one of those sappy moments with you, since I am probably right in assuming you already went through that with Sean." he paused.

She nodded. "Yeah."

"I didn't know you were so talented." he joked.

She rolled her eyes, the hint of a smile on her face. "Funny, Tommy. Yeah…that school helped me a lot."

"Maybe you could play some more for us sometime. Maybe play at the bar, too." he shrugged.

She smiled. "Yeah…I'd like that."

It seemed as though, just maybe, things were starting to look up for her.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

A few days later, the boys still hadn't touched the subject of Liam. The were sitting in the bar, when suddenly a loud ringing went off.

"What the Hell is that?" Jimmy griped from behind the bar.

Bevin rolled her eyes. "My phone." She pulled it out and flipped it open. "Hello?"

The boys watched as a smile grew on her face. "Aaron! Yeah I am fine. I am in New York. Yeah I am with my brothers right now, actually." There was a pause. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving…it was sort of last minute." Then she suddenly looked confused. "What are you talking about?" Suddenly she sat up as the door to the bar opened.

"Surprise."

She turned slowly and dropped her phone. "Aaron?"

Then she ran to him and hugged him. The boys looked confused, and watched them carefully. "Um…somebody want to explain who this is?"

Bevin laughed and turned around. "Guys, this is Aaron. He is like…my best friend. He lives in London and we went to school together." Then she turned to her friend. "Aaron, these are my brothers. Tommy, Jimmy, Kevin, Sean, and Joey's like my brother."

They all waved, still confused. "So how did you find her here?"

He laughed nervously. "She left your address with my doorman before she left London. I went there but no one was home, but it seems that you guys are well known around here. It wasn't too hard to track you down."

She laughed nervously, and scratched her head. "Yeah…that's…yeah."

He smiled and she sighed. "Go sit over there, I will be right there." She watched Aaron sit down, before turning and hopping over the bar.

"Hey!" Jimmy yelled and she ignored him.

She grabbed two beers and went to sit with her friend. The boys watched as the two interacted and Bevin laughed.

"Oh that's just great…she's blushing. Now we have to kill the guy." Tommy complained.

"Just leave them alone."

Kevin, Tommy, and Jimmy turned to look at their youngest brother. Sean stood his ground and sighed. "Look at her. She's happy. She's laughing. She's back to being Bevin. This…Aaron guy, seems to be doing a lot better than we have in that department. Just…leave them alone."

They continued to stare at their brother in shock. They even missed the door opening and Joey walking in. "What's with the tense silence?" he turned and saw Bevin and Aaron. "Oh."

Bevin smiled as she listened to Aaron talk. After she moved to London, Aaron had been one of the few people who befriended her. He helped her with Liam, and even stayed with her when he was born. Though neither of them had really spoken of it, they both considered him to be Liam's father…it was even on his birth certificate. After the tragedy with Liam, he'd been the one constant in her life.

"Um…excuse me, not to disturb you."

Bevin rolled her eyes. "What do you want Kevin?"

"Jimmy said you guys need to stop flirting in his bar. It's making him sick." Kevin said awkwardly.

Aaron looked up at him. "I wouldn't flirt with a married woman."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Bevin couldn't stop him before he said it and she inwardly smacked herself. That was one of the things she'd kept from them.

"What?" Kevin looked at her then turned to the boys. "Bevin's married."

The glasses were smacked onto the bar and there was complete silence. Aaron looked around at them. "Maybe I should go…"

Tommy shook his head. "No. You're not going anywhere. You seem to know a lot of things that our lovely sister won't tell us. One of you…start talking."

Aaron looked at Bevin and she sighed. "His name is John. He's a few years older than me. We met at a diner. He saw how I was struggling with Liam and school and we went out. He was great with Liam and we got married. I kept my name."

"Why didn't you tell us you were married?" Sean asked quietly.

She sighed. "Because I'm not anymore."

It was Aaron's turn to be shocked. "What? Since when?"

She paused a moment, her heart aching. "Since Liam…"

Aaron nodded. "Good. That jackass deserves it after what he did."

"What did he do?" Kevin asked quickly.

Bevin sighed. "I haven't brought myself to tell them what happened. I can't." She looked up at Aaron with a broken look in her eye. "I'm sorry." She stood, and ran out of the bar.

Aaron went to go after her, but Tommy stopped him. "You, stay. Sean, go after her and make sure she's okay."

After Sean left, Tommy turned to Aaron. "Come sit at the bar, and tell us what the Hell is going on."

He joined them at the bar and sighed. "I met Bevin a few weeks after she had moved to London. We had a few classes together and a lot of people didn't give her the time of day because, you know, she was pregnant. Going up and talking to her was the best decision I ever made. She's my best friend. When Liam was born, I stayed with her. She put my name on the birth certificate and ever since then everyone knew me as his dad. I loved it. Then Bev met John. I always got a weird jibe from him, but…Bevin wouldn't hear it. They got married and I was never too far away. It was months ago….on her birthday. We always have this tradition where I take her out for the day to celebrate. She left Liam at home with John." he paused and cleared his throat. "Sorry, this part is hard for me."

Jimmy handed him a shot and he took it gratefully. He let it work its magic for a moment, before he continued. "When we got back to their house later…there were cops everywhere. John had been playing with Liam out front and had to pee. What does that jackass do? He leaves him outside alone, to go to the bathroom. He swears he was only gone for a moment, but when he got back, Liam was gone. That was the moment Bevin's whole world fell apart."

There was silence for a few moments before Kevin spoke. "What happened?"

Aaron sighed. "They searched for months, but eventually they ran out of leads. They pushed the case aside. They told Bevin that it was highly unlikely he was still alive. Bevin hasn't been the same since then."

Suddenly Tommy stood, grabbed his jacket, and left without warning. Aaron looked at Jimmy. "I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have come. I was just…making sure she was okay."

Jimmy sighed. "No. We needed to know this."

No one spoke as Jimmy handed Aaron another beer. "So…what's England like anyway?"

-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-

Bevin was laying in her bed when she heard a knock on her door. "I told you I don't want to talk, Sean!"

"Do I look like Sean to you?" Tommy asked as he walked into the room and shut the door.

She sniffled and laid her head in her arms. "What do you want, Tommy?"

He came and stood near her bed. "We talked to Aaron. He told us about Liam."

She didn't stop the tears that started running down her face. "I figured."

He sighed. "Bev talk to me."

"I can't."

"Yes you can."

"No, Tommy, I can't. I can't do anything." She had tears spilling from her eyes now but he didn't move. "I couldn't defend myself when someone was raping me. I couldn't keep myself from hurting you when I left. I couldn't see how much of a jerk John was. I couldn't even keep my own son safe!"

She buried her face in her hands and sobbed. Her whole body was shaking violently. Tommy sat down on the bed next to her, and pulled her to him. She didn't resist, and he held her.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry." She choked out through sobs.

"Shh. It's okay." he held her and his mind was racing a mile a minute.

If only he could figure out a way to teach that jackass a lesson…


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Aaron stayed for a few days, before finally going back to London. Bevin was having breakfast at the diner one morning, when Jenny stopped in front of her. "So what's the deal with Aaron?"

Bevin looked up at her. "What do you mean?"

Jenny gave her a look. "You know what I mean. You like him. It is kind of obvious."

Bevin sighed. "Really?"

Jenny nodded. "Yep. You're busted. Now spill."

Bevin smiled. "He's my best friend…other than you, of course. Without him…I never could have handled anything that happened to me in London. He's my rock. The one I can turn to for anything, night or day. I needed that. Even when I was married to John, I still had some feelings for Aaron. Now that I am not married anymore, they are beating me up inside."

"Then why don't you date him?" Her friend asked with a grin.

Bevin sighed. "Ever since Liam was taken, I haven't been able to trust my heart to another man. The only men I trust, are my brothers and Joey. I love Aaron, I always have. But if I get that close to him…I will just push him away. The hurt is too fresh for me."

Jenny nodded silently. "I'm sorry."

Bevin shrugged. "Everything I have ever cared about has been slipping out of my grasp since I got married. If it continues…I don't know what I will do."

Neither woman responded but let the thought hang in the air. Jenny silently hoped that her friend's life start picking up, but she knew there was a slim chance of that happening in this part of town.

A few hours later, Bevin walked up to her mother's headstone. "Hey Ma."

She knelt down on the grass and sighed. "I'm sorry. I am sorry for everything. I should have been here. I shouldn't have left. I just thought….never mind what I thought." She paused. "Kevin showed me your bible. I hope it is okay, I took the picture of us. I just wanted something to remind me how much you loved me. My life…it's hard now. I wish you were here to help me with this. The boys are trying…but it would be nice to know that you are with me."

She opened her purse and pulled out a picture of Liam. "This is my son, Liam." She set the picture in front of the headstone. Then she dug a little hole in the dirt and buried the picture. "Please watch over him. Please keep him safe for me and let him know that I love him as much as you love us."

Here were tears in her eyes as she spoke. "Mama I miss you. I miss him. Now I know how hard it was for you when I left. I am just sorry it took something like this to bring me back."

Bevin stood. "I love you."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Jimmy, Tommy, Kevin, Sean, and Joey were sitting in the bar later that night when Frankie came in. "Hey boys."

Tommy sat up straight. "Hey Frankie."

Frankie sighed. "I hate doing this."

"What is it?" Jimmy asked.

Frankie looked at Tommy. "We got a call today about a person being attacked on the street. Pretty badly beaten, in the hospital."

"What you think it was one of us?" Tommy asked quickly.

Frankie shook his head. "It was Bevin."

The bar grew silent. "I'm sorry boys. She is in the hospital. We don't know who did it. I think you should get over there and see her. She could use you guys right now."

They didn't hesitate on following that suggestion. Within fifteen minutes they made it to the hospital and they found her room.

Slowly, they opened the door and walked in. "Bev…"

She looked up slowly at them, her eyes wide. She was sitting at the top of the bed, her knees pulled to her chest. Her arms and legs had bruises and cuts on them, and she still had some dried blood on her face.

"Bev…what happened?" Sean asked slowly as he went to her side.

She slowly looked up at him. "Sean?"

He nodded. "I'm here, Bev. We all are. Jimmy, Tommy, Kevin…even Joey."

She looked around slowly. "I can't…remember…a lot of things."

The boys glanced at each other. "What do you remember?" Tommy asked carefully.

She stared straight ahead of her at the wall. "I was walking to the bar. Someone hit me from behind. I…" Her breathing started getting harder and her eyes were frantic.

Tommy stepped forward. "Bev?" he waited until she looked up at him. "Yeah it's me. Can I see your hands?"

She waited a moment and then slowly raised her hands. They were shaking. "Do you want to stop? We can wait a while if you don't want to talk about it."

She shook her head. "No. That's what I am telling you Tommy…I don't remember."

He nodded. "Ok."

He glanced at Jimmy and Kevin and motioned for them to go into the hall. "Bev we're going to go find your doctor and see when you can go home."

She nodded and Sean stayed by her side. He sat down on the bed next to her and she carefully curled up into his side.

Outside the room, Tommy, Jimmy, and Kevin stood quietly talking. "What do we do? She doesn't remember anything."

Jimmy was pissed. "We find that jackass and kill him."

"What jackass, Jimmy? She doesn't know who did it. We can't just start killing people until we know who did it."

Suddenly a man walked up to them. "Are you related to Bevin Donnelly, by any chance?"

They turned around. "We're her brother." Tommy said quickly.

"I'm glad you're here. Your sister had a pretty good beating. There wasn't too much trauma, but she does have a minor concussion. We'd like to keep her for tonight and she can go home in the morning. But you guys need to be aware of her memory. She doesn't remember anything from the incident and there are some things from even a few days ago that are fuzzy to her. Just…be patient. Help her try to remember things, but don't push her too much. Give it some time."

Tommy nodded. "Thanks, doc."

He nodded and left the brothers to their discussion. "Well thank god there wasn't anything worse." Kevin sighed.

Jimmy nodded. "So if we can't kill anyone, what do we do?"

"We're her brothers. She needs us." Kevin stated. "Even if that is just being with her."

Tommy sighed. "Kevin's right. Now come on…I think we need to check on our siblings before someone else gets hurt."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

It was a week after Bevin got out of the hospital that she started regaining the things her memory had lost. It would come back in snippets, but they were all grateful for it.

She was sitting at the bar one day with Jimmy when she gasped and her face went pale. "What's wrong with you?"

She shook her head and looked at him. "Nothing. I'm fine."

He eyed her. "You sure? You don't look too fine."

"I'm fine, Jimmy. Don't you have some stuff to bring up from downstairs or something?" She snapped at him.

He grumbled. "Yeah, I do. Stop yelling at me about how to run my bar."

He kept grumbling to himself as he walked down the stairs. When he came up a few minutes later, her was yelling out to Bevin. "You ever think about helping me?" he stopped when he got up there. "Bev?"

She was gone. Her beer was still sitting on the bar and her jacket was hung over the chair. He ran behind the bar and he knew the truth. "Dammit, Bevin." he locked the bar and took off after his sister.

When she had gone pale, he thought she may have remembered who attacked her. When he found his bar empty and saw his gun missing, he knew that he was right. Now he just hoped he could find his sister before she got herself hurt again.

He searched around town for two hours before he came to a secluded clearing. On the far end, he saw a man standing at the hot end of a gun. His gun.

"Bevin."

She didn't look at him. "Stay back, Jimmy. This is my fight."

The man sneered. "What are you going to do, bitch?"

"Shut up, John, or this bullet will be in your skull faster than you can blink." She threatened the man.

Jimmy was confused. "Wait, John? Your ex-husband, John?"

The man nodded. "The one and only." he turned to Bevin. "When I heard that Bevin here had come home, I had to come see her. See she left me and didn't even say goodbye. She has a habit of doing that, doesn't she? So I taught her a little lesson about what happens when you leave someone like me."

Jimmy watched them. "You son of a bitch. You are the one that attacked her."

He nodded and turned to Bevin. "So have the police figured out anything about Liam yet?"

She remained unfazed…she had to. "Shut up."

He laughed. "No…they haven't. And they won't. Because I hid the evidence too well."

She stared at him. "What?"

He laughed again, louder. "That's right. I had him kidnapped. See…I hated how all of your time was devoted to him. I never got any time with you. So I him dealt with, thinking you would come to me for comfort. But no…you went to that idiot friend of yours."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You had him taken? My son."

John nodded. "Yes. I did."

"You jackass." Suddenly there was a loud bang and John was on the ground, a hole between his eyes.

Bevin looked at him for a moment, before looking up at Jimmy. He nodded. Neither needed to say anything, to know that she was thanking him. This was for her to finish.

After they disposed of the body, they walked back to the bar. When they got there, they saw Tommy and Kevin waiting for them.

"Where the Hell have you two been?" Tommy shouted.

Bevin walked right to him and wrapped her arms around him. He was confused, but hugged her back and looked up at Jimmy, who held up the gun and pointed to their sister.

Tommy seemed to understand the jist of the story, and didn't press it at that moment. He just held his sister and she finally cried for her son, and the man who had taken her life away.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

A few weeks later, Bevin walked into the bar. "Jimmy…it's been a few months now. Are you ever going to get rid of that piano?"

He looked at her. "I thought I might keep it around…keep it here for you."She smiled. "Really?"

He nodded. "Yep. Got anything new you want to test out on it?"

She sighed and shrugged. "There is this song I wrote for Mom and Liam…but I don't know how good it is yet."

"Play it." Kevin said.

She sighed. "Okay."

She walked over to the piano and ran her fingers across the keys lightly. Then she sighed and began playing.

I stumbled across your picture today  
>I could barely breath<br>The moment stopped me cold  
>Grabbed me like a thief.<br>I dialed your number, but you wouldn't be there  
>I knew the whole time, but it's still not fair.<br>I just wanted to hear your voice  
>I just needed to hear your voice<p>

What do I do with all I need to say?  
>So much I wanna tell you every day<br>Oh it breaks my heart.  
>I cry these tears in the dark<br>I write these letters to you  
>But they get lost in the blue<br>'Cause there's no address in the stars

Now I'm drivin'  
>Through the pitch black dark<br>I'm screaming at the sky  
>Oh cause it hurts so bad<br>Everybody tells me  
>All I need is the mornin' rolls in<br>And it hits me again  
>And that ain't nothin' but a lie<p>

What do I do with all I need to say?  
>So much I wanna tell you every day<br>Oh it breaks my heart  
>I cry these tears in the dark.<br>I write these letters to you,  
>But they get lost in the blue<br>'Cause there's no address in the stars

Without you here with me, I don't know what to do.  
>I'd give anything<br>Just to talk to you

Oh it breaks my it breaks my heart  
>Oh it breaks my heart<p>

All I can do is write these letters to you  
>But there's no address in the stars.<p>

She looked up at them when she was finished and they smiled. "Bevin…you really need to do something with that talent."

She laughed. "In this family?"

They shrugged. "Shut up."

She walked behind the bar to grab herself a beer. Suddenly the door to the bar opened and Bevin heard Jimmy set a glass down. "Aaron, what are you doing here? Who is that kid?"

Everything from that moment seemed to go in slow motion for Bevin. She lifted her head and her heart stopped. "Oh my God." She whispered quickly.

"It's him, Bev. It's really him." Aaron smiled, tears in his eyes.

Bevin's heart was pounding in her ears as she jumped over the bar and took off towards her friend. She pulled the kid into her arms and cried.

The boys were very confused until they heard the small voice say one small but powerful word. "Mommy."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Later that evening, Bevin sat on the couch with her son asleep next to her. She couldn't believe what had happened. After Aaron brought him into the bar, he told them that the man who had taken Liam had kept him all this time. A few days before, he had ODed and when the cops got there they couldn't believe what they had found. Since they couldn't get a hold of Bevin, they contacted his "father" and Aaron brought him home to his mom.

She was falling asleep when Tommy came over to her. "How are you holding up?"

She smiled. "I can't believe it. He's alive, Tommy. My baby is alive and safe."

He nodded and smiled. "I know." He went and sat on the table across from his sister. "It's a miracle, and those are hard to come by in this family."

She sighed. "I know. I can't even believe it. He's home, Tommy. I have my baby back."

Tommy nodded again. "That's great, Bev. Liam's cute."

She smiled. "He looks like you."

He made a face. "No he doesn't."

She nodded. "He does. I'm glad." She paused. "Listen…I wanted to ask you something. Now that I have him back, I don't want to lose him again. If anything should happen to me or to Aaron…I want him to be with family. Tommy…will you be his godfather?"

Tommy stared at her in shock. He hadn't been expecting her to say that. "Bev…"

"Please Tommy. I know that our family is in some shady business but we grew up…fairly okay. I need to know that he is going to be okay. And I can only know that if I know he'd be with you."

Tommy's heart was starting to swell as she looked at him. "Okay. Of course I will do it."

She smiled. "Thank you."

Suddenly Liam started stirring next to her and he moved around. He started crying.

As Bevin went to grab him, Tommy touched her arm. "Can I?"

She hesitated, then nodded. Tommy leaned over and grabbed his nephew and now godson. He picked him up and sat in the spot that he was just laying. Then he laid the boy on his chest and held him. Liam settled into his chest and quieted down quickly. His tiny hand grabbed part of Tommy's shirt and held tight.

Bevin smiled. "See? You're already good at this."

Tommy didn't respond, he just looked down at Liam and smiled. Then he looked up at his sister. "By the way…happy birthday."

She smiled. "Today was a birthday I will never forget."


	13. Chapter 13

Epilogue

Bevin heard a knock on the door to her dressing room and smiled. "You can come in, Tommy."

He slipped into the room, checking to make sure his suit was still okay. "Wow…Bev you look gorgeous."

She looked down at her white gown-the one her mother had worn for her wedding. "Thanks. I wish Ma was here to see me wear it."

He nodded. "Me two. These past two years hasn't been any easier without her."

Bevin nodded and suddenly a little boy ran in the room. "Uncle Tommy! Uncle Jimmy said that we can't wait on your asses anymore."

Bevin looked shocked and Tommy rolled his eyes. "Buddy, go tell Uncle Jimmy that we're coming and then go find Uncle Sean. He's going to help you today okay?"

Liam nodded and ran off again. Bevin sighed. "I am going to kill Jimmy."

Tommy nodded. "Yeah me too."

Bevin sighed. "I guess it is time to go."

He nodded. "Yeah."

She smiled and walked over to her brother. "You know that giving me away isn't goodbye right?"

He sighed and nodded. "Yeah I know."

She smiled and they left the room. Within an hour, Bevin Donnelly married the man of her dreams, and Aaron was glad that he finally became part of Bevin and Liam's life in a more intimate way.

During the reception, which was held at the Firecracker, Jimmy got everyone to shut up. "Okay my sister, the blushing bride," he smiled and Bevin made a face at him. "…has a song she wrote that she wants to play. So shut up and listen."

Bevin smiled and sat down at the piano. "I wrote this for my mom."

Mama you taught me to do the right things  
>So now you have to let your baby fly<br>You've given me everything that I will need  
>To make it through this crazy thing called life<br>And I know you watch me grow up and always want what's best for me  
>And I think I found the answer to your prayers<br>And he is good, so goodHe treats your little girl like a real man should  
>He is good, so good, he makes promises he keeps No he's never gonna leave<br>So don't you worry about me  
>Don't you worry about me<br>Mama there's no way you'll ever lose me  
>And giving me away is not goodbye<br>As you watch me walk down to my future, I hope tears of joy are in your eyes

[Bevin looked at Tommy as she sang and he smiled, holding her son and he did have tears of joy in his eyes, not that he'd ever admit it.]

Cuz he is good, so good  
>He treats your little girl like a real man should<br>He is good, so good, he makes promises he keeps No he's never gonna leave  
>So don't you worry about me<br>Don't you worry about me  
>And when I watch my little baby grow I'll only want what's best for her<br>And I hope she'll find the answer to my prayers And that she'll say  
>He is good, so good<br>He treats your little girl like a real man should  
>He is good, so good, he makes promises he keeps No he's never gonna leave<br>So don't you worry about me  
>Don't you worry about me<br>Mama don't you worry about me  
>Don't you worry about me.<p>

Everyone clapped for her and Bevin smiled. As she looked out at her brothers, her son, and her husband, she thought just maybe, things were finally back to normal. She was home, and she was staying home. After all, even with her family, who says you can't go home?

* * *

><p>Okay so I editted this chapter a bit to fix the problem with appearance. For those of you who asked, yes...I proofread it and it was fine before I posted. This happens sometimes, but there are other ways of letting me know, besides talking to me like a child. I love constructive criticism, but not in a rude way.<p> 


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